Percived impossibility
by hannah.grahamlecter
Summary: How my OC found she was pregnant, Case fic Helping you all to understand my OC as it touches upon her history.
1. Chapter 1

Waking up early one morning towards the beginning of 2012 my stomach lurched. Groaning at the sound of my alarm I sighed, forcing myself up out of bed. My stomach was churning and the movement made it all 10x worse, making a quick bolt for the en suite bathroom. I only just made it before I emptied the contents of my stomach into the loo. My heart was palpitating and I felt weak. After a bout of dry heaves my husband came in seeming hugely concerned.

"Roxanne baby." He said gently, sitting on the bathroom floor next to me, holding me close.

"I don't feel good." I told him, snugging into his chest: needing some comfort.

"I know beautiful, I know." He replied softly, pulling me in close. "How about I take you back to bed and phone Hotch for you, you really shouldn't be going into work."

"No Tyler... I'm going to work." I told him defiantly. Yes I felt a little off and I had just thrown up, but I still felt ok to go into work and I never had a day off. Even while at school, my attendance was 100% most years.

"Hun... you haven't been feeling great for a couple of weeks though... you should rest."

"Tyler. I'll come home if I start to feel any worse." I promised before standing up and having to steady myself on him.

"Ok. Fine, I give in. Just promise you will come home if it gets worse."

"I Promise."

After showering and getting dressed into my work clothes I grabbed a bottle of water, feeling incredibly thirsty from the mornings throwing up and drank about 1/4 of the bottle. Tyler was making coffee, the smell made me feel incredibly nauseous again and it was all I could do to not throw up once more that morning, heading straight out the door I got into my car and drove to work.

Heading into the office I arrived the same time as my mother, Emily Prentiss who was carrying a coffee she had brought on the way in. Standing in the elevator I clutched my stomach, desperately hoping I would not throw up inside the elevator.

"Are you ok darling?" She asked me.

I stood in silence for a bit, knowing if I opened my mouth I would throw up, fortunately we arrived at our floor in the elevator, I made a quick exit, running straight to the ladies room, the little water I had drank coming back up from my stomach.

"I take that as a no..." Emily sighed and followed me into the ladies room, holding back my hair while I threw up. Again followed by a bout of dry heaves. "Go home darling." She said softly and gave me a hug. "It's not like you to be sick is it?" She asked.

"No... not atall." I replied sighing. It was strange really. It was not at all like me to get sick, especially not to the point where I was throwing up at work. "Mom, I'll be fine. I feel a lot better now. Honest." I lied, OK not fully. I didn't feel so nauseous as I did when the smell of coffee was present but my Stomach muscles were killing me and I still felt a little off.

"Ok darling, come on then, Hotch wants us in the round table room." She said, helping me up and waited while I splashed my face with cold water and rinsed my mouth out.

I sat near the door incase I had to make a quick escape, everyone in the team noticed something was wrong with me, whether it was because of my pale skin or being unusually quiet I am not sure. Looking at the pictured from the case (2 males, stabbed 19 times found in the forrest) my stomach churned, there was nothing in it, so I knew I couldn't throw up again. "Wheels up in 30." Hotch said before dismissing us all.

Reid noticed Roxanne hadn't drunk any coffee yet since she'd been at work, very strange for her indeed. "Rox? What's up?" He asked me.

"Why do you think somethings up?" I asked.

"You havn't had any coffee. You always have coffee."

"Oh. I'm not feeling great..." I replied answering his question.

"Drinking plenty of water though so you don't become dehydrated?" He asked.

"Not really, no Spencer. The water I drank just came back up because of the smell of Coffee."

"Oh well that's not good, that's not good at all. You need to drink though." He told me, when we got on the Jet he got me a cool bottle of water from the refrigerator, "Drink." He told me. "In small sips though." He explained and sat with me on the Jet, conveniently near the loo.

"Thanks Reid." I replied gratefully and took a sip of the water.

The flight to Alaska was long, I felt pretty much fine until Hotch went to get himself a coffee. The smell made my stomach churn once more, putting my hand over my mouth I took a few deep breaths and hoped the sudden wave of nausea would pass, fortunately it did.

"Are you alright?" Reid asked.

"Yes, I'm fine now." I replied when suddenly Garcia told us another body had been found, in the same forest as the other two, body positioned in the same way. "Dave Ashford." Garcia said. "I'm sorry Roxanne..." She apologized after noticing he was her adoptive father.

"It's alright Garcia..." I replied, after what he had done to me I hadn't forgiven him, although it was sad he had fallen victim to this unsub part of me felt he deserved it.

"Ok. Roxanne if your ok, this will be our best start at victimology. What do you know about Dave Ashford?" Hotch asked her.

"Well he ran the stringed instrument emporium until last year when he said he was going to Alaska to sort things out..."

"What things?" Hotch asked.

"He was an alcoholic, since I was about 10..." Roxanne told them, feeling slightly uncomfortable going into this part of history.

"What did he do to you?" Morgan asked, noticing there had been some form of abuse going on.

"Is this really relevant?" She asked, not wanting to tell the team.

"Well yes. I could be." Rossi told her. "But we won't push you."

"No... If it may be relevant it's fine..." She paused. "He molested me... then when I was 13 I found I was pregnant with his child. "

"And you had an abortion. Which was when you started your search to find me and turned up at my door one day." Prentiss stated,the pieces finally starting to click. She was quite shocked herself when her daughter randomly appeared at her door.

"Yes... and there were complications." She said sighing. "I still don't forgive him..."

Reid gave me a hug. "You know what Rox, I'm not surprised you don't forgive him, he did this to you during the pivitol time of puberty, that and molestation mixed with unwanted pregnancy and abortion is quite a traumatic experience. You know women who have had abortions are more likely to suffer from depression, which would explain why you cut yourself, but that started around the time he started molesting you didn't it?"

"Yes Spencer it did... and thanks. Don't tell me you've calculated the age of the scars."

"Yes. I have..." Reid answered.

"Anyway, Garcia have you got any history of any of the other men in the last year, atall?" I asked, knowing her step mom Rose, had not heard anything from his since he went to Alaska to supposedly sort things out.

"Nope. It's like they disappeared off the face of the earth, the last record of our first victim, Jake Brogan is 2 years ago, our second victim; Alex Grape, only 6 months ago." She told us.

"Ok, any of them have any alcohol or drug problems on record?" Hotch asked.

"Yes. Jake was a Stoner, admitted to a rehab center against his will at the age of 17 and left the day he turned 18. Alex was an alcoholic, last year he got a DUI."

"Seems the Unsub is trying to heal them of their addictions." Reid noted. "What I find strange is each stab occurred at a different times and that the stabbings weren't the cause of death. It seems the cause of death was the concoction used for lethal injection."

As the plane landed Hotch gave us our designated places to go. I was sent to the dump sites with Reid. Prentiss and Morgan to interview the families. Hotch, Rossi and JJ to set up at the field office.

"You need to eat something before we hike through the forest." He told me, knowing I hadn't eaten anything all day and passed me some crackers.

"Thanks Spencer" I replied, I had actually started to feel a little hungry, opening the crackers I ate them slowly before we got into the SUV to drive for 45 minutes to the forest. Despite the biting cold I had the window open, partially to give me some air and also so I could throw up outside of the car if I was to get sick again in case Spencer didn't have chance to pull over.

I started to fell nauseous about half way through the journey. Taking deep breaths and clutching my stomach I seriously hoped I wouldn't throw up.

"Are you alright?" He asked, noticing my deep breaths and how I was clutching my stomach.

I shook my head. "Can you pull over?" I asked, although really it was a demand as I knew I was about to throw up.

"Sure." He replied, pulling over. Instantly upon getting out of the car I threw up, Reid rushing to grab my hair back for me. After I'd finished he felt my head with the back of his hand. "You don't have a fever." He noted. "How are you feeling?"

"My stomach feels a bit odd but apart from that I'm fine."

"What do you mean by odd?"

"Just odd.." I replied not wanting Reid to start diagnosing me.

"Ok. Well you ok to see the dump sites still?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. Don't worry."

Getting back in the car and driving the rest of the way to the forest, fortunately I didn't throw up again. Meeting with the Park rangers they gave us a map and went up to the dump sites with us. We knew all of them seemed to be in clearings, that itself may be symbolic in itself.

"The body was placed facing east, in all killings. Do you think that's symbolic in some sense, the sun rises somewhere in the east."

"The unsub could be purifying them through death or that he believes in reincarnation and in death these men are getting a chance to turn over a new leaf."

"That would explain why they were all dressed in white. Do you think we could be looking at a cult?" I asked.

"I don't know... It's difficult to tell. A cult, that's rather creepy and in which case the stabbings could be punishments. Death is the final punishment. It would explain the method of killing."

Looking around the other dump sites, they all seemed to match, even down to the type of tree the body was placed under. This wasn't a surprise however as it was one common in Alaska.

* * *

Back at the field office we shared findings and found the other two men said they were going away to sort things out. If this was a cult as Reid and I thought someone had to be finding these men then persuading them to come, with intensives. "Ok everyone go back to the Hotel, Roxanne can I talk you you for a minute?" Hotch asked.

"Sure..." I replied knowing this was about how everything I had said earlier wasn't on my file. After he confronted me about it I just told him there were ways and means of hiding things and it would probably be hard for even Garcia to find all of that.

"Roxanne. I need to know your mentally stable and able to do your Job." He said, as the self harm had flagged up concerns.

"I don't cut myself anymore Hotch. It's been seven years since I last did that."

"Ok good. So I don't need to worry?"

"No. You don't need to worry."

Heading back to the hotel, I had to share a room with my mom as there were not enough spare rooms in the hotel for all of us. "What did Hotch want you for?" She asked.

"Just about all that stuff that wasn't on my file."

"Oh. Thought so. Why didn't you ever tell me about what he did?" She asked.

"I don't know... I guess I just couldn't admit it to myself at the time." I replied, grabbing my blue pajamas with short sleeved top, the word dreamer in the center and the bottoms long and checked. before going into the bathroom to get changed.

"That's understandable. You can tell me anything though. You know that right?"

"I know..." I replied, coming out of the bathroom and getting into bed.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning I didn't feel too bad and managed to get some breakfast down me. A croissant. Entering into the field office everyone had coffee making my stomach churn once more. I figured I must have a stomach virus which was still passing at the time or about to get my period. It was a couple of weeks late and Coffee often makes me nauseous around that time. Fortunately I had managed to keep food down that morning.

We asked Garcia to see if there was much online activity by cults in the area, looking for advertisements aimed at abusers of recreational substances to get their life back on track. Specifically something referencing a religion of sorts and located somewhere deep in the forest. Maybe looking at a small group of people, not too big on the internet. We were aware it would be hard for her to find but it was all we had.

Unfortunately no such thing was found, these people obviously kept it quiet. They had to be sending people, out around the US to find people to join the cult. How else were these men ending up there?

Rose came in later that morning, to be interviewed about Dave. It pained me so much to see how frail and tired she looked, how much it all this had affected her. Rose Ashford was a maternal figure in my life for so long and looked after me as if I was her own. She loved me, respected me and treated me as one of the family, which when your growing up is all you want.

"Roxanne I know it's against protocol but can you do the interview, I feel we will get more if she speaks to someone she loves and trusts." Hotch ordered.

"Sure." I replied, standing up to take my adoptive mother into the interviewing room. Upon standing I got a sudden wave of sickness but fortunately it passed after a few minutes, after getting myself some water and offering Rose some we went into the interview room and sat down opposite each other.

"Roxanne are you alright?" She asked, noticing I seemed a little off compared to my normal self.

"Yeah. fine, fine... Just tired, that's all." I replied before taking a sip of water. "How about you?" I asked her, pausing as I knew she wasn't ok. "How are you coping with all of this?"

Rose sighed and took a deep breath before speaking, trying to find the right words to say. "I'm not sure to be honest with you Roxy, I'm still in a state of shock I guess. I just can't believe this happened to him."

I held her hands to comfort her and replied. "That's only natural, look it's awful what happened to him but you promise me you won't ever blame yourself because it's not your fault." I replied, being able to sense some guilt from her voice and body language. "Did he ever tell you or show you where he was going?" I asked, wondering if Dave had left any clues as to where exactly in Alaska he was going to sort things out.

"Yes. Um... he gave me an information booklet" She replied, not sure as to why this could be relevant as it had no information to location nor did it contain the name of the place, she got it out of her bag to show me anyway. "Why?" She asked.

"We think it could be a cult..." I replied, not sure hearing this would effect Rose and slightly worried about the possible immediate reaction.

"What!" Rose exclaimed out of shock.

"We think this recovery center was only disguised as such and in actual fact it is a cult." I explained.

"And they... th-they... they killed him?" She asked close to tears.

"We think so yes, most probably the leader of this all." I replied, passing her a tissue and getting up to give her a gentle hug. "It will be ok." I said softly before showing the team my findings.

"Baby girl, could you look up treatment centers in the area? We think the cult could be disguising as one." Morgan asked an explained.

"Your wish is my command chocolate thunder." Garcia replied sounding all giggly while typing in her searches at the speed of light.

"There is one. Located in the same forest as the body's were dumped. Matthew house, it seems pretty cultish, all dressed in white, various other random rules and regulations, the location should be on your phones now." Garcia replied speaking quickly and sending the information on location at the same time.

"That's them." I said, I was sure of it and so were the rest of the team. Grabbing our bulletproof vests we got into the SUV'S heading directly to the location. JJ and Reid staying back at the field office.

While in the SUV I read up on some information about the founder of this cult/treatment center. A Matthew Brown, age 35. Former drug and alcohol addict. Reading in the SUV coupled with Morgans driving made my stomach feel odd again. I never normally got travel sick so this defiantly was something new. While trying to calm the nasuea through deep breaths I thought back. This reminded me of how I felt when I found I was pregnant at 13. The doctor said I couldn't though, I couldn't be pregnant could I? It was impossible.

Quickly dismissing the idea, at least for the time being, we were first to arrive on scene. Hotch, Prentiss and Rossi arriving a few seconds later. "Ok Prentiss, Roxanne take the east side of the establishment, We will take the west." Hotch ordered.

We found him in the chapel, kneeling, praying at the alter, dressed all in white. Pontifical insense was burning, like they burn in Rome. The strong aroma from such a rich blend of: Frankinsense, myrr and benzoin with a slight citris cent coming through, made my stomach feel on edge. Trying to hold it together I alerted Hotch, Rossi and Morgan as to where he was located as Prentiss made the arrest.

Unlike our usual arrests this seemed strangely simple. He just surrendered...

"Matthew Brown you are being charged with three murders." Emily said, leading him out of the chapel handcuffed. Following out of the chapel I quickly went round the adjacent side of the building, throwing up my lunch.

"Roxanne." Morgan came over to me. "You alright?"

"Yeah... ugh. Sorry about that, I'm just not feeling too great." I informed apologetically, standing up fully as he gave me a comforting hug.

"You feeling ok now right? Not going to be sick again?" He asked.

"No Morgan. I won't be sick again. It was the incense." I told him as we walked back to the SUV's.

It had been a long day, but fortunately we had solved the case. Wishing Rose goodbye I arranged to meet up with her for lunch the week after. Getting on the Jet I sat myself down, next to my mom and opposite JJ and Reid. It was a long flight, everyone had fallen asleep. Even Rossi and Hotch. I was just sitting there, thinking. Thinking about the possibility of being pregnant.

Upon landing Hotch told is to all go home and come in refreshed for the next day, I took the opportunity to go into the drugstore and pick up not 1 but 5 pregnancy tests. In school they always taught us to do at least three tries with everything I was doing 5.

Getting home I was quick to figure out my adopted daughter, Dana was the only one in. "Hey." I greeted, standing slightly inside her open bedroom door.

"Your back!" She exclaimed happily, taking her laptop off of her legs. "Could you help me with this 'Of Mice and Men' essay?" She asked.

"Sure, just give me a minute. Ok?" I replied, putting my go bag down on the chair in mine and Tylers room before getting out the pregnancy tests to I could take them.

Those three minutes seemed like the longest in my life, waiting hoping. Hoping for what I had been told was an impossibility. Finally the three minutes were over, it was clear I was pregnant. Staring at the tests for a minute I was in shock. Throwing the tests in the bin I went back into Dana's room so I could help her with her essay.

About an hour later Tyler came in and smiled when he saw us together. "How are my two favourite girls?" He asked.

"Good." We both replied, me going over to hug him. "I have something to tell you." I whispered into his ear. "Tonight." I finished, embracing his warming hug.

I told him that evening, while we were on the couch watching tv, well I say watching it was just on for the sake of it being on. "I'm Pregnant." I told him excitedly.

"What! How?" Tyler replied shocked. "Baby! This is amazing." He continued before hugging me tight.

"It just happened I guess." I replied, extremely happy about this.

The next morning the doctor confirmed my pregnancy, I still couldn't believe it myself to tell you the truth. This was amazing; a miracle.


End file.
